:: …hello! Happy Wednesday…ok, so it’s been a week too long
for this one…..in my last blog I wrote about image…..and how we can either wear
ours , or we can wear his…him being God….let me just share my story….
I grew up a chunky girl my whole life…like no lie…I was
overweight in elementary school and I can remember, very clearly, having to
shop in juniors clothes in the 5th grade…yeah, sad right.. L …I also remember my
cousins, brother’s, and sometimes my friends,
cracking jokes about my weight and my looks…it was sad…..I remember not being
chosen for any of the relay teams on PLAYDAY....ok I take that back....I was chosen,
for one, the shortest one, lol!... but
who would have known that wearing bigger clothes than my friends, and being labeled
as “fat”, would set me up for a huge
challenge in jr.high and high school…..I was an insecure, and sad mess of a
girl…....
In Jr. high, I would get sooo upset when I would see girls who
were skinnier, and saw how they had the boyfriends, and the cute clothes..(everything
that the “world” makes look important)……keep in mind that I would dress the best
that I could, I did my make- up, did my hair, and kept up with myself…anything
to make what I felt on the inside from showing on the outside….one day…things
changed for me…I somehow managed to snag one of the hottest guys in jr. high..…Vince
Ofori was his name. And boy was he hottt!!! Speaking of….I wonder what happened
to him….any who…I was a big fat insecure teenage mess who had a boyfriend now, and when I asked him
why he liked me….he said bc I had a cute face and an amazing personality…….lol…wow…8th
grade, and I had a great personality…shut it..…at that age, no girl wants to
hear that…I want you to tell me that I’m like super fine…lol….but whatever it
was…I had him and that’s all that mattered…Monica and Vince…y que…lmbo!!!
When he dumped me in the 10th grade…I PERSONALLY gave
myself the label of “ugly”….why, because all of a sudden, now that we were in
high school, he wasn’t interested in that cute lil chubby girl with a great
personality anymore..….he wanted the hot, perfect body gorgeous preppy girl…lol…I
laugh bc all of my friends tell me that I was a prep in school too…..but like I
said I always looked at other girls….I was never good enough…not skinny enough,
not preppy enough, I was never enough….the saddest part of it all…..no one
cared if I was enough….it was all me, on the inside…I WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR
MYSELF!!....
Well, life went on…I had another boyfriend, who passed away……a
child with a man who has by far been one of the most influential people in my
life and when I say influential…boy do I mean it…if it weren’t for him…well…let
me just say, look forward to my book someday……and as life went on….I picked up
many more labels…..to fat and ugly, I added uneducated, addicted,psycho,
abandoned, single mom, manipulated, and soooooo many more…I could list so many….these
labels created a poor self-image that I wore till I was 27…yeah…not that long
ago...I was a mess…omg….I’m telling you, my life is a book…I could tell you
story after story of desperation and straight up chaos…I was a big fat insecure woman..
Then I went to church and met another man, God…and his word…this
Word that told me that his son Jesus…died for me……WHAT????...I mean, I knew
about Jesus, and I knew he had died and all but what are you saying…….like, he
died just for me??....hmmmmm, ok tell me some more about this man…. I thought what??...even
if I was the only person in this world…he still would have died for me?…..you
guys…. :’) when I read that JESUS died so I wouldn’t have to wear any labels….,
that he DIED so I could be like him, I still thought ok, he was pure, he was
healthy, he was handsome, he was FREE, he was loved, he was AMAZING, he was
wonderful, he was PERFECT!!!....but I don’t feel like any of that…..I am this
or that…..but wait hold on…the people that told me that…they didn’t die for me…so
who should I believe..?....I don’t know about you but if someone is goin to die
for you…what they say takes it…what they say goes…and…that settles it….soooooo,
it was then that I said…..THAT’S IT!!! I
removed those labels that I had worn for sooo long!! And put some new ones on…like BEAUTIFUL,
GORGEOUS, one of a kind, amazing, talented, and precious, loved, fearfully and
wonderfully made….
I know this is a repeat of what I posted last week, but I did this bc it has to be real
to you…you have to realize what the “world” has labeled you…..the world can be
anything…like your friends, family members, tv shows, music , an ex, a
magazine, ANYTHING!!! The enemy will stop at nothing to make you feel like you
are not ENOUGH….he tries so hard bc once we find out that we are ENOUGH through
JESUS…it’s game over for him…..we become a new person…….
And as with lots of things…this takes work… lol…it takes
work to be confident, to be free, to be beautiful….all GOOD things take WORK…..so
here are some pointers, STUFF THAT WORKED AND CONTINUES TO WORK FOR ME…….::
:: QUIT watching the world’s shows, quit listening to the
world’s music, basically shut the world up…you know, The Kardashians, Bad Girl’s
Club, Bachlorette, rapper’s who rap about sexy women, omg the list goes on and
on…bc weather you realize it or not, when you watch that junk or listen to that
demeaning crud…you are setting yourself up to compare who you are and how you
look with the women in the show, the women being sung about…please…if you have
to do that, just go sit in the parking lot of Wal-Mart…plenty of chicks to
compare yourself to there…..shut the world up and quit comparing yourself..
:: ….accept your
flaws and realize that you are the only one who can fix them. You and GOD’S
help….if you are like me, then you
are a chunky but!! LOL..kidding but for real.. that is the area where I need
most help….I mean it’s no one else’s fault I’m chunky.. not my parents, not SJ’s,
not my ex, not anyone’s. Not even God’s…and it’s up to me to shed those pounds….I’ll
say it again…ME….if you don’t have the strength, then call out to God….he will
give you everything you need..
:: …QUIT being scared
to believe in GOD and his WORD….if there is a deep desire in your heart to
go to church.. GO!!! That’s GOD talking to you….he’s nudging at you bc he has
something for you….you have to do something good for yourself…and starting with
the WORD of God is the best place……you have no idea how just hearing the word
can improve your self-esteem… ::
:: LOVE YOURSELF!!!
….OWN THE WAY YOU LOOK, THE WAY YOU DO YOUR HAIR AND MAKE-UP, THE WAY YOU DRESS,
THE WAY YOU TALK..YOU ARE YOU…THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU…..GOD MADE YOU IN
HIS IMAGE AND HE LOVES YOU…..IT’S TIME TO LOVE YOURSELF TOO!!!
There are so much more I can type, but my lil fingers need a
rest…lol…those are what changed and worked for me…try them…I’m sure, no wait, I
know they will work for you too….get ready…bc when you wear his image….IT’ll
CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!!
Loves,
~Monica
Blog 3
4/3/2013
No comments:
Post a Comment